The Next Chapter

It was 545 in the morning at the platform waiting for my train to arrive when I read this your email at my iphone. It surely made my day. Somehow you summarized the story of how it became us. The moment wasn't ruined, it was just delayed. Hahaha! Now, if someone asked me how out story started, I could just let them read this email of yours. =) But, I wouldn't do that of course. I would probably just say that it's destiny.

Life is really full of surprises

It's nature that is telling us that we should be together. We're like magnets with the same polarities when we met, same but cannot be together but somehow, nature managed to shift our course and pulled us together. I definitely believe that there are still more surprises that life would bring us now that we're together. =)

We are meant to be

I just searched the lyrics of the song "Muntik na Kitang minahal". Hahahaha! Why didn't "US" happen earlier? I think it's a cliche "It's not you, it me" answer. It's already given that you're cute and mabait. Those attributes already made a mark when I first met you at UP. It's just a matter of I being ready to get into a relationship. I enjoyed my singleness back then. Relationship is not something I'm looking for. But when we got to jumpstart our friendship again, everything changed. This time, no more dorm mates with you all the time which means less teasing. Somehow, we managed to spend time with each other alone. I've known you better and you've known me. For all the gaps we had in our friendship, still, we managed to cope and you still amaze me. :) You keep yourself calm and that makes you strong. I like the way you handle yourself and with the people around you and that makes you a good friend. I like the way how you make me feel special and loved. I like the way you are. I am comfortable being with you. I know I could always trust and share almost anything with you.

"US" may not have happened earlier maybe for a reason to know what we are really looking for and I hope you have found yours in me as I have found mine in you. It may not have happened earlier because life may have pushed us to experience these adversities to be better individuals for ourselves and for each other. And after everything, even though it didn't happen the way you wanted it to be, "US" happened and that means that we are meant for each other. Let's just make our future the way we really wanted it to be.

The story of us

This is only the beginning. It's time to write the next chapter.



With heaps of love,

x

When Love Happens

You're In My Arms
And All The World is Calm
The Music playing on for only two
So Close Together
And when I'm With You
So Close to Feeling Alive.

I'm currently playing the song. My heart still beats fast with every word. But it no longer brings pain and confusion the way it did the first time I read your email.

Life is full of surprises.

I like you, you like me, but it's always not enough. Who would have thought that the adversities we had with our past relationships and the many times we thought we like each other won't bring us together? God's plan is so mysterious yet wonderful.

I always thought that I was meant to be with you.

Was it because it will be easier to be with you? You… someone I know, someone I trust, someone I respect, someone I like, someone I love as a friend, someone who could always make me smile, someone sweet and someone to whom I dedicated the song "Muntik na Kitang Minahal", hahaha! Or was it because I believed for so long that I like you that I already got used and settled with the idea? It frustrated me before that it does not happen the way I wanted it, we don't fall in love the way I thought we should. The more I wanted the universe to pull us together, the more you resist it. Until I gave up and accepted that we're really just friends. And I was happy with us being just friends.

But love happens when you least expect it.

Or was it simply destiny? By accepting our friendship again, we began to know each other again. I say "again" because even though we did not stop being friends, I believe we lost the old sweetness and innocence of our friendship back in college. You must admit that somehow there used to be a wall between us. We're not as close as we used to be. I blame the people around us who kept on teasing us. I blame myself for being affected. I blame you for being.. I don't know, weird? hahaha! You irritate and embarrass me with your reactions. But I know you'll argue that you react that way because of my reaction as well. It's just my pride talking. ;) Funny, but it's a cycle. But by being friends again, the awkwardness is lost. The wall that was built (unintentionally) between us started to melt. And that's how it should be. Love does not happen just because you want it to. Love is allowed to grow on its own, in its own time, in God's own time.

I wanted to hold your hands but now they are mine.

And yes sweetie, they're mine. I wanted to touch your lips, but now they are mine to kiss. You used to think that we're so close and still so far. Now we're so far... but still so close. It's not an easy journey. But with you, I take the risks.

Status: May 9 (Worlds Apart)

your world
my world
two worlds
worlds apart

where are you?
why are you not here with me?
where am i?
i am a nomad

i want to be in your world
i am not
i want you in my world
you are not

we are mere spectators
perhaps not even ones
i don't know your world
you don't know mine

where are you?
where am i?
we should be together.
we are worlds apart.

Status: April 1 (Breaking Time and Space Continuum)

how do you see our relationship now?

to be honest, ala ku pa clear idea of whats the future of our relationship. as of now, i know that u are still there for me.

that's it? hahaha!
well i think u also need to know.. i asked because i don't know how long i can hold on with the uncertainty. but the thing is, it's not something you can answer.
my worry is that sooner or later we'll grow apart..

and i am always here. balakid mu talaga ing distance. the room for getting to know more of each other is not as wide nyang atiu ku ken

i agree with you..

i understand. tatakut ku din na mag grow apart tamu.
how happy are u now?
does my absence bother u so much?

im happy that there's "us"
im happy when i get the chance to talk to you..
im happy when i hear your voice
but that's all i have..

do you think we need to make a plan?
i need to know your thoughts of you moving here with me.

i dont know what plan we can make..
about me moving there..
ali pa for two years because of petron..
and after that i dont know.. it depends on how we are
masyadu kasing malwat pa..
kaya ali ku bisang mgplan for makanta kalwat lalu na nung li danaka man kayabe

i understand.

it's a bit complicated ne?

yup. let's see how it goes.
i'll try my best to let you love me even milalwut kata
let's find some ways to give us more reason to hang on to this relationship.
engineer tamu. byasa tamu maginnovate
let's break time and space continuum

hahaha!

hahhaa!

kaya love daka eh!

blamu makanta mu kalagwa neh?

wapin, hehe

we'll get there. let's try our best to get to know more of each other.

sana pin makanta kalagwa ne..
cge lets.. hehe

ayt! optimistic tamu.

How Do I Love Thee

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

Another Unsent Letter to S

Okay, I am not supposed to be writing about you anymore. But what the heck, this is my blog. ;)

Hey, I saw your Facebook account!

You're with someone now! Nice, nice, nice. =D You seem happy and you guys look good together. Not trying to be "unsolicitedly" friendly, but I am really happy for you. I always knew that you will eventually move on. I know that you are meant to be with someone else, someone better. And I have anticipated that she will be someone from you're school.

You know what, I missed you. But I know that I did the right thing to do. And you now agree with me, right?

Anyway, obviously, I did not see your account accidentally. Because that is sort of a fat chance. I did intentionally searched for your account. I think I checked it thrice, until I had the news I was waiting for. Perhaps, because I still feel guilty for what happened and I need to know you're okay. And now, you are. So I'll say it again, I am happy for you. I am glad that we've both moved on. God bless on your acads and your love life. ;) Cheers!

Same Ground

I don't know where we're going anymore. Sometimes I just really want to give up. It's not that I don't love you anymore. The thing about this relationship is that we started without any plan. And 9 months after, we still don't have a plan. I never had any regret though. I still love you the way I did the first time I fell in love with you. I hate to admit it, but I love you so much, I really do. I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much I am still here despite the uncertainties, despite the loneliness, despite the distance, despite the waiting. I love you so much I can't give up even when I think it's the best thing to do. I love you so much I can't take the risk of losing you forever if I give up now. I love you so much, I try to hold on to every strain of hope that this is working out.

But the thing is, I don't know where we are, where we are going and if we are going anywhere at all. And as painful as it is, I have to accept and I have to admit that maybe we are not each other's priority. Truth is, from the very start I had wanted you to stay. But i know that you wont. And I also don't want to get in the way of your plans. So I thought I'll just follow you there. But it's not as easy as it sounds. And then the company came and my plans changed. Now all I want is for you to come back. But i know you wont. So if i wont go there and you wont go back here and we don't have any plan, what do we have to hold on to? Where is this going?

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps we're trying too hard? Perhaps we need to let each other go. And then perhaps by doing so we'll find each other once again at the right place and the right time.