Another Unsent Letter to S

Okay, I am not supposed to be writing about you anymore. But what the heck, this is my blog. ;)

Hey, I saw your Facebook account!

You're with someone now! Nice, nice, nice. =D You seem happy and you guys look good together. Not trying to be "unsolicitedly" friendly, but I am really happy for you. I always knew that you will eventually move on. I know that you are meant to be with someone else, someone better. And I have anticipated that she will be someone from you're school.

You know what, I missed you. But I know that I did the right thing to do. And you now agree with me, right?

Anyway, obviously, I did not see your account accidentally. Because that is sort of a fat chance. I did intentionally searched for your account. I think I checked it thrice, until I had the news I was waiting for. Perhaps, because I still feel guilty for what happened and I need to know you're okay. And now, you are. So I'll say it again, I am happy for you. I am glad that we've both moved on. God bless on your acads and your love life. ;) Cheers!

Same Ground

I don't know where we're going anymore. Sometimes I just really want to give up. It's not that I don't love you anymore. The thing about this relationship is that we started without any plan. And 9 months after, we still don't have a plan. I never had any regret though. I still love you the way I did the first time I fell in love with you. I hate to admit it, but I love you so much, I really do. I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much I am still here despite the uncertainties, despite the loneliness, despite the distance, despite the waiting. I love you so much I can't give up even when I think it's the best thing to do. I love you so much I can't take the risk of losing you forever if I give up now. I love you so much, I try to hold on to every strain of hope that this is working out.

But the thing is, I don't know where we are, where we are going and if we are going anywhere at all. And as painful as it is, I have to accept and I have to admit that maybe we are not each other's priority. Truth is, from the very start I had wanted you to stay. But i know that you wont. And I also don't want to get in the way of your plans. So I thought I'll just follow you there. But it's not as easy as it sounds. And then the company came and my plans changed. Now all I want is for you to come back. But i know you wont. So if i wont go there and you wont go back here and we don't have any plan, what do we have to hold on to? Where is this going?

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps we're trying too hard? Perhaps we need to let each other go. And then perhaps by doing so we'll find each other once again at the right place and the right time.