Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

l:galit ka pa ba sakin?
s: i don't know
l: i guess that's a yes
s: i can't say
s: it's not a yes nor a no
s: maybe it's in between
l: am i that mean?
l: hehe
s: do you really want to know why i can't get over it?
s: but it's already unnecessary for me to say it.
s: and i don't want to say things that would ruin everything all over again
s: but i've been living with this burden for a very long time now
l: then you have to tell me
l: i dont think anything's going to be ruined anyway
l: what i mean is, whatever it is that you have to say ill just take it
l: and if it's really a burden you have to say it..
l: so, the floor is yours..
s: ok
s: let me start from the beggining
s: before we broke up and i was spending a lot of time in bulacan
l: just keep going, i'll just read first and wont comment until you're done
s: i was doing a lot of work
s: and earning money which i never told you
s: and i have no intention of telling you
s: coz i wanted to give you something special for your birthday
s: something special that i was hoping you'd keep it for as long as you can
s: maybe i got to busy and preoccupied
s: but never did a day pass by that i didn't think of you
s: coz i love you
s: until now
s: i was hoping on getting you a ring
s: it was an engagement ring
s: coz with those days that i am not with you
s: i saw me with out you
s: and me with out you is something that i can't be
s: i wanted to spend my life with you
s: have a family
s: i really do
s: but then again i realized
s: it is what i want
s: not what you and i wanted
s: when you left me
s: the whole world crashed
s: i didn't know where to pick up the pieces and how to put them back together
s: i was hurt and still in pain
s: maybe that's the reason why i can't get over this feeling
s: maybe i am not really mad at you
s: maybe i am disappointed with myself
s: coz i can't be that guy
s: this is all i can be
s: maybe you need more
s: sorry if i can't be better
s: but i tried
s: sorry
l: i dont know what to say..
s: you don't have to say anything
l: thank you..
l: and im sorry..
s: ok
l: but you never even tried..
l: i mean you just accepted that it ended
l: and i moved on..
s: coz you're the one who left me
s: twice
s: and i fear that you'll leave me again
s: i realized i wasn't enough
s: i can't give or provide what you want
l: is it okay for me to say things that will not help? i mean, i'm just gonna hurt you more but i think you need to know
l: or maybe i just want you to know
s: i don't know if i can handle it.
l: how about things that concern the past?
s: why?
l: i dont know just yet
l: maybe it's so you would understand
l: or maybe it bothers me
s: you know what. i understand
l: or maybe because of what you just said i need you to know what went wrong
s: even if you don't say it
l: ok
s: maybe i just don't want to hear it again
s: i agree with what you said
s: i am not strong enough to hear it